i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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