he wants to bone in the snuggie
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
