and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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