Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
