My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize