Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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