C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
