You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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