Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
