He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
