how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
