were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
