Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
