come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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