be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
