Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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