She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
