playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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