A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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