So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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