So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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