if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
