I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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