yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
