I faked an abortion last night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
