i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
