Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
