Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
organizing the empties. That sober.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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