Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
