no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
