youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Naked Twister starts at high noon
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
