apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
