Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
