I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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