yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
