Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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