Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
