Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
