ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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