I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
