When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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