She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
