they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize