Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
