Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
