I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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