Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
