dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
