i would punch a child for taco bell
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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