Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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