Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
